Hello World

I know it's been a while since I wrote. I apologize for not writing to you more. Today, I feel like writing!

Christmas: Stress, Depression, Hard times, Loneliness... I had felt all these things at one point of time or another when it comes to this time of the year. I am happy this year. Truly happy. My Mom is coming out, Daddy might be here, my incredible husband will be here. We will celebrate by remembering one thing this seasons is supposed to be about: LOVE. People forget that.

I wanted to get many gifts for my girls this year, as they are amazing children who don't often ask for things or special treatment. My daughters are the face of Christmas. Last year my oldest asked me a sweet question. We were walking into Walmart and she asked about the "guy ringing the bell". I told her he was trying to raise money to help people who need it. She asked me if she could get money out of her piggy bank at home to put in his pot, I gave her a $5 to put in. We were watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition a few weeks back, there was a family that adopted special needs kids, as that's where their hearts led them. One of their kids was badly burned as a baby. She had no eye lids, no nose and was called a monster at school. My oldest, yet again, asked me why they called her such mean names. I told her the girls story and she told me, "But Mommy, she's beautiful. I would be her friend." Now tell me I'm not blessed.

I had not gone to church in many years, since I was in High School. I found many churches to be hypocritical and biased. If you didn't act a certain way, look a certain way or had a lot of money to give to the church, you were ignored, looked down on or just not welcome. I had been to several churches that dwell on the money given to them to make the church bigger and better. Don't they remember that Jesus preached wherever he wanted to? A church is just a building to gather. People could hold church, or fellowship in their homes, in the woods, in a gymnasium. It doesn't really matter WHERE you worship, it just matters that you do.
Now that said, my family and I have been attending church for one year now. The church we have been attending isn't rich with money or items, but rich in love and compassion. Last year they didn't even know us, yet gave gifts to my children knowing we were having a tough year. I could never thank them enough for the love they have shown my family over the past year. I have received enough hugs and assistance in other areas to make me smile one smile for every day of my life. My family is the youngest family in this church and my husband and I have tattoos and I have a piercing in my tongue, yet they don't look at us differently. We are loved. I feel that this Christmas is going to be amazing, not because I want it to, but because I have focused on much more this year than I have in previous years. I may not know you, but I love you. Pass it forward. Everyone Love Everyone. These little sayings hold more truth and heart in them than anything I've read in a book. Keeping your heart, mind and eyes open could guide you into a path you never thought you would see. I never thought I would find a place where church really was church, filled with joy, love, prayers, tears and mostly hugs. I never thought I would find a school for my children where the question, "Is there anything I can do for you?" was asked so often and hugs came as fast as grades. I feel loved, I feel joyful, I feel like I am wanted!

I want to wish you all an incredible Christmas. Remember one thing, love one another.
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He that loveth not, knoweth not God for God is Love." 1st John 4: 7-8.

I love you all. It's not about gifts, it's not about what you don't have. It's about love.

Scary

There are a few things in life that scare the crap out of me. I don't like bees or wasps, I don't like being alone, I don't like watching horror movies alone. The thing that scares me most of all is breast cancer. Well cancer in general. I can be in control of the other things I'm afraid of, but cancer, I'm not in control of the outcome. I've always been afraid of cancer. I've seen a lot of heartache due to it. I've been through some heartache with cancer myself. My Grandma had cancer. I cannot remember what she had, but I know she suffered.
The school my children attend held a pep rally to honor those who are cancer survivors and to never forget those who were taken from us. They played this video, there was not a dry eye in that gym. Life throws us curve balls. This song shows us that with the love and support of family and friends, we can make it through anything.
I am truly blessed to have the friends and family that I have. I know that no matter what life throws at me, I am loved. So, I'd like to tank you all for being the people who love me and will help me through the hardest of times.

Take a Deep Breath

Sometimes you've just got to take a deep breath and one step forward at a time. I am so lost on what I want. Well, that's not fully accurate. I'd follow Tye to the ends of the world.
What in the world am I talking about? Well my husband, as most of you know, works away from home. He is gone for 3 weeks at a time, then home for one week. Now, we're looking at places to either rent or buy in or around the town he works in. If we are "local people" up there, his schedule would change. It would be 7 days on, 2 days off, then every three weeks he'd get a three day weekend. He would also be home ALMOST nightly, depending on if they need him in the field or if he's in the shop. The dilemma is we've grown accustom to this small town. I've made friendships, the school is amazing, and we found a church we actually enjoy going to. I know I can create this little world anywhere we go, but these people have made a home in my heart within the past two years. Do I go out with others? No. Do I see them anywhere other than the school or church? Not really. But I have such a great caring for them that I would do anything if they needed help. For instance, right now I'm watching a 4 year old boy whose Mom is having problems with her mother. To make a long story short, I'm watching him in the mornings for free. I have NO ill thoughts or regrets. He's a sweetheart and I know what it's like to have a tough time.
Back to my dilemma, I want to be where I can see my husband more often, where he could have a more active part in the girls lives. He is an incredible Daddy and an even better husband. He would do anything for me. We have such great communications that when we have problems, no matter what they are, we talk to each other. We've cried together, we laugh together, we feel each others thoughts and views. He's my best friend more now than he was when we were in High School together. The words "I Love You" are said not just daily but many, many times a day. Hugs and kisses are something that we both cherish. I may not want to leave my adopted family of a town, but if it means being with him more, and it would benefit my family more, we'd probably move up there. It's only two hours away from here *I don't have a running vehicle or I'd visit him more* so we'd be able to come down and visit, attend church and whatnot.
I think my biggest problem is all the help we've received from the school, church and other amazing people in this town. We moved here with nearly nothing. Tye was working a minimum wage job and we were just trying to keep our heads up. For the past two years, we've been slowly moving up, but will always remember how the school and church bought the girls gifts for Christmas, turkey/ham for the holidays, a shoulder to lean on and an ear to talk to. Heck, at the school last year, the business manager and the cheerleaders' coach made me a cake and bought me a birthday gift. I broke down to tears, these people have hearts of gold. My girls are adored at their school and give hugs to EVERYONE. I have been truly blessed during our time here. If we do move, it won't be anytime soon as we really want the girls to be able to finish the school year here.
I know, no matter what, I am loved. My family is adored. We will always have the relationships we've created here. I've changed a lot since we moved here. I've grown more. Not physically, of course, but emotionally, spiritually and, well, mentally. I have more faith in myself. I started school again. I'm achieving a 4.0 and doing my best. I find myself laughing over little things, remembering how laughter affects my heart. Ya know, it feels so good to laugh. I've grown closer to my husband and children. I am, finally, a good spouse, a good Mom and a good friend.

Life as we Know it

Sometimes I just don't want to care. I have had many friends... or acquaintances rather... turn their back on me. I always try to help out where I can, whether it be simply a message saying "I love you" to donating an old high chair to someone in need. We went to Canyon on Friday to give a gal who has a 2 year old and a 1 year old our old high chair seeing as we didn't have a need for it any more. Well the van was working all day long, not showing signs of any problems. Low and behold, when we dropped off the high chair, the van wouldn't start back up. We called a wonderful friend who was able to travel the 80 miles to help bring the van home. After we got home and got some sleep, we bought a new starter, thinking that was the problem. Replaced the starter to find, that's not what is wrong with it. Tye worked on the van the whole week he was home, yet the van still isn't working. Oh well, I'm out a vehicle for now. The thing that bums me out is I asked a "friend" if they could help me maybe at least try to pin down the full problem with the van, he said he's got too much going on and cannot help. Okay, that's fine. My biggest problem is I know they have the time to assist, I'm not asking them to FIX it for me, but to help me figure out what is truly wrong with this vehicle. UGH. Walk away, Shel.

My poor husband just worked a 34 hour day in the field. I miss him tons. I never thought of how hard it was to tell your children that Daddy's at work, but he loves you and misses you. I have to say this every morning and every night. Tye's a great Daddy and it shows with how much the girls ask about him. Danielle was mad at me last night because I told her Daddy was working late and we couldn't talk to him on Skype. Life sure is tough in this economy, but you have to do what you have to do.

Kylie and Danielle are running for Little Princess for their school. This is the first year they've had this competition in 10 years! We met the last girl to win, who is now a Junior in High school. She was in the 1st grade when she won. Saturday is the Cotton Festival as well as the day that the winner is announced for Little Princess. I hope the girls understand when I tell them that it doesn't matter who wins, they are beautiful and amazing in my eyes, as well as the rest of their family and friends' eyes. I will post pictures of them on their Little Princess Float. My girls are incredible. I love them with all my heart. Taylor is going to dress up too, can't leave her out even though she's too young to run for Little Princess.

Sports!!

I love sports. I push my girls to try everything, to find out what they like. I tell them all the time that they could be and do anything they want in life. They could play many sports, become the president of the United States, be a doctor, teacher, anything their heart desires. Kylie, my oldest, told me she wants to be a Doctor and take care of other adults when she's bigger. Taylor, my youngest, wants to be a princess *she's 3*. Danielle wants to dance. I have the best children ever.
Have you noticed how a lot of children these days have no sense of imagination? Sad, isn't it? My girls love books, playing outside and loving life. I push manners on them, making sure they say "please", "thank you" and the like. That's one thing that many people have complimented me on the most. My daughters are sweet, polite and so much fun.
Anyways, back to sports, I love that the NFL is "in session" as well as NASCAR. It's not as fun to watch alone, but I'm always able to talk about games and races with Tye when he's at the motel. My girls are going to know these sports far better than any male around! haha They ask me what's going on with plays as well as how many points they get. As for driving, they just love cars! Wouldn't it be neat if the girls turned into amazing racecar drivers? Yes, I'm random today.
The saddest thing lately, is how much the girls miss their Daddy. We are able to talk to him every night. That is, except tonight. He's on a LONG day, started at 2 this morning, and won't be back to the motel until midnight or later.

Anyways, I hope everyone has a great evening.

Indecisive

Have you ever been so indecisive about something, that one day you thought you weren't the best thing for your family, then the next day you were so proud of yourself for something? That's me, to a T. I think I am incredible today. I brought my grade in my Intro to Psych class from an 88% to a 91%! I just have to bring it up to a 94% to maintain my 4.0!!!
Yesterday I was feeling as if I was not the Mom I am. I want a change, yes, I want to look and feel better with myself; however, I am incredible. I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to. Mostly, I can do it because of the people standing beside me the whole way. I have my husband and children who are backing me. My husband told me he was so proud of me. Those words I never thought would mean much to me, but they brought a tear to my eye. My mom told me that she is proud that I am even continuing in school, bettering myself for my girls. That has made me feel so wonderful. My dad has helped me through my essays and has been such an asset to my schooling. I couldn't be more thankful. I have dear friends on On Wings Of Faith who have been beside me throughout my journey of returning to school. I could not be more happy with who I have in my life. Tye, Mom, Dad, Jennie, Melissa, Andrea, Sara and anyone I've missed **I'm sorry if I missed you** I couldn't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. You love me for who I am. I am overwhelmed by your love and kindness.

Physical features

I love who I am, but I'm not very happy with how I look. I am 30 pounds over weight, and don't deem myself as pretty. I know I sound like nearly every other woman on this great planet.

Here is where YOU can be helpful. I want to lose the 30 pounds, but I have no stroller for walks, I want an elliptical machine for my house but don't have the $ yet, I diet and do small workouts here at home, to no avail, I have no gym nearby. I'm not making excuses, I want this change, I look at pictures and just say "ugh". I've been thinking of a facial make over as well. have my eyebrows trimmed properly, the right makeup for my skin type and color, maybe a nice haircut, although I love my long hair. I want to be a better Mom, better wife, better friend, better daughter, etc. Any and all suggestions are appreciated.
I had tried Sparkpeople.com but it didn't help me at all, there were some supportive-ness but not as much as I had hoped for. I am thinking of buying a scale and starting a weight loss journal. I'd write everything I did for that day, how much I weighed first thing in the morning, everything I ate and how my mood was. I just want to be happy with me physically.

Me :D

There are times in life when people want to throw in the towel. People get things in their lives that they are unsure what to do. I had been there before. I changed my life around to see things in a different light. I did not change who I am, though. I am still caring, outgoing and smart. I know what I needed to see things more positively. I was hating people, despising everything wrong with me, not liking my family or friends. I actually did not like me. I did not like the way I saw things. I decided that I wanted something better for myself. I opened my eyes, I changed something about me to see that things are amazing in the light. I have only few true friends. I have family that loves me, even if we are not close. I have incredible children. I have the most amazing husband, who loves me through my flaws. I have more than a lot of people will ever have in their lifetimes. I'm rich. I am blessed. I am loved.

School

School is kicking my derriere!! I decided to return to college after nearly ten years of being out. I want to better myself for my kids' sake. I am in month 9 of college, attending Kaplan Online University. Those of you with children understand why I am attending online! I've had a 4.0 in my other six classes I've taken; however, Introduction to Psych is proving to be a tough class for me. I love having the challenge, but dang!! Sometimes I want to just throw my hands up and beg for a break!

I may be struggling, but I still have a B in the class. I have time to bring it up. I'm working hard on maintaining a good grade and want to prove to my children that you can do anything! I think that if they see me pushing for a degree, they will want to fulfill all their dreams as well.

I know this is a short post, but I have to get back to my Homework. Much Loves to my friends and family.

Lyrics

Music is one of the most incredible things that has ever been invented. There are songs that can tear you down, make you laugh, make you dance, create angry thoughts... the list goes on and on.
I absolutely LOVE music. I listen to everything from Country to metal, oldies to rock, blues and jazz. I love lyrics most, but also love the sound of a great guitar player and an incredible drummer. I'm going to share snippets of lyrics from different songs with you.

♪♫♪♫ - The Climb - Miley Cyrus - ♫♪♫♪
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

♪♫♪♫ - Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw - ♫♪♫♪
I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

♪♫♪♫ - Old Time Rock And Roll - Bob Seger - ♫♪♫♪
Still like that old time rock and roll
The kinda music just soothes the soul
I reminisce about the days of old
With that old time rock and roll

♪♫♪♫ - I Don't Want To Be - Gavin Degraw -♫♪♫♪
I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking around rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't wanna be anything other than me

♪♫♪♫ - Amen - Kid Rock - ♫♪♫♪
It's another night in hell
Another child won't live to tell
Can you imagine what it's like to starve to death

And as we sit free and well
Another soldier has to yell
Tell my wife and children I love them in his last breath

C'mon now amen, amen, amen

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

I have many, many more songs I like, these are just the ones that I thought of off the top of my head. These songs make me think, make me look at what I have and how very lucky I am to have them. I have a family who loves me at my worst. I have an amazing Husband who I love more and more every day. I have three incredible children, whom I'd give my life for. I have friends who care not only about me but about my family. I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy and am going to school full time to better myself. I have everything I need. There are many people who do not have family or love. There are others who do not have/ cannot have children. Many people live on the streets, wondering where their next meal is coming from. I'm blessed. You who read this have blessed me, you are my friends, my family, friends to those whom I love. Remember not to look at what you don't have, but what you have. Cherish it, it could be gone tomorrow.

I love you my friends, my family, my husband, my children.

Life, Rain and laughter

Sometimes your life is hard. I know mine gets that way. My husband is working away from home, for three weeks at a time. I know for many people, this is nothing; however, for me, it's heart wrenching. The last time I was away from Hubby like this was when we first got married and he was deployed with the military, thus making this road in life hard. Like other married couples, my Hubby is my best friend. I can talk to him about anything. Our relationship is VERY open in conversation. If I have a problem with something, I go to him. If he's got a problem, he comes to me. It feels great knowing the man I care so much for is my best friend. We are able to talk ever night and have been making more and more plans for our future together. We've been married for 8 and a half years now.

Today is a BEAUTIFUL rainy day. Is it just me or are the sounds of rain hitting the roof absolutely soothing? I'm a Nature person, I love the sound of a rushing river, rain falling on a lake, owls and birds chirping away, squirrels chitting in the trees... Simply a calming atmosphere. I also enjoy the sounds of my kids playing; their laughter echoing through the house. A child's laughter is the most incredible sound I've ever heard. Children have such a sense on this world, they see things for what they are, and know what true beauty is. Laughter, however, can lighten any mood, can make you feel as if you belong, and can heal your soul. Laughter is also good for your body. One of my favorite quotes is from the movie Patch Adams: “Remember laughing? Laughter enhances the blood flow to the body’s extremities and improves cardiovascular function. Laughter releases endorphins and other natural mood elevating and pain-killing chemicals, improves the transfer of oxygen and nutrients to internal organs.
Laughter boosts the immune system and helps the body fight off disease, cancer cells as well as viral, bacterial and other infections. Being happy is the best cure of all diseases!”

Don't forget to laugh today, no matter if it's at yourself, or with a friend.

New at this

Hiya Family and friends, I'm not very big on blogging, but thought, "What will it hurt?" I have information I'd like to share with family and friends, and figured this was one of the best ways of doing so.
I decided my first blog should be an important one, seeing as I have many family members and friends who are currently pregnant. I just want to share a few things I've learned over the years about Pregnancy, Health and the babies within our bodies/the bodies of those you love. I know sometimes it's hard to see your body going through these changes.



First off, a dear friend sent me this email:
The importance of good nutrition for easier birthing and the health for the remainder of the child's life cannot be underestimated. Good nutrition is the single most important means of avoiding toxemia, pre-clampsia, mispositioned babies, and the need for interventions during birthing. Healthy, well0nourished mothers birth healthy babies. Healthy babies are strong and better able to play their role in easier birthing. The body during pregnancy is like a valuable piece of equipment that needs absolute maintenance for good, easy performance. These are not just suggestions, they are MUSTS.

1. Eliminate ALL unnecessary fat - fast foods, and fried foods - particularly French fries.
2, Salt to taste - Celtic of Mediterranean salt. Pregnant moms need salt.
3. Consume lots of Protein - 75 to 90 grams a day, taken in several snacks or light meals.

Sources of Protein: eggs, eggs, eggs (daily); cottage cheese, lean red meats, chicken, cheese (except soft cheeses - Brie/Camembert), milk, ice cream, yogurt, cream cheese etc.

4. Go for greens - green leafy lettuce (iceberg lettuce is useless), vegetables, salads, avocado, spinach (limited quantities) - it is rich in iron, but can inhibit assimilation of calcium), green beans, broccoli, asparagus, peas squash, peppers, celery, cabbage, bok choy, kale, chard, mustard and other greens.
5. Wipe out whites - avoid refined sugar, white flour products, white rice, white potatoes, and white baked goods. Choose whole grains instead. (Red-skinned and yellow/gold potatoes are nutritionally the same as white potatoes - avoid them.)
6. Opt for oranges - squash, yams, and sweet potatoes, cantaloupe, oranges, peaches, apricots.
7. Drink LOTS of water (especially before doctor's appointments near term.)

At least 36 oz, more is better! Have a jug to measure your water intake, because it is easier to abide by that than taking it in by glasses of water through the day - then you'll know if you're getting enough. A rule of thumb, a nurse once told me, drink a lot and if you think you've had enough, drink more.

8. Delve into fruits and berries - strawberries, blueberries, (especially good), honeydew melon, watermelon, kiwi, grapes, apples, pineapple, cherries, bananas, pears. (Fresh and dried fruits make great snacks.)
9. Increase the intake of fish oil - Omega 3 fatty acids are essential. Fish is one of the most beneficial proteins that you can consume 0 particularly salmon. (Be aware of the safety issues involving the mercury content of the fish, especially tuna, shark, swordfish and others. Avoid all raw fish and oysters.) Omega 3 fatty acids can be obtained from Evening Primrose Oil capsules.

I also learned from our instructor that if you mix (I can get the ratio for you if you'd like) but if you mix olive oil and grapefruit juice that is a great way to get your Omega 3 fatty acid as well.

10. Reach for roughage - consuming a good amount of fiber can help to keep your bowels regular and fend off hemorrhoids. Most fruits, vegetables and whole grains will supply fiber and also help keep blood sugar levels stable and lower bad cholesterol.
11. Liquids other than water - fruit juices are good, but they do not replace the need for water. Avoid carbonated drinks; NEVER drink diet drinks, caffeine or alcohol.
12. Seeds, grains, and nuts - are good sources of protein and other nutrients. (Choose raw or dry roasted, and avoid those roasted in oil.)

Remember, in the end it's these sweet little beings that you are bringing into this world. This is my Taylor when she was a couple hours old.

Well anyways, Until next time!!!