Scary

There are a few things in life that scare the crap out of me. I don't like bees or wasps, I don't like being alone, I don't like watching horror movies alone. The thing that scares me most of all is breast cancer. Well cancer in general. I can be in control of the other things I'm afraid of, but cancer, I'm not in control of the outcome. I've always been afraid of cancer. I've seen a lot of heartache due to it. I've been through some heartache with cancer myself. My Grandma had cancer. I cannot remember what she had, but I know she suffered.
The school my children attend held a pep rally to honor those who are cancer survivors and to never forget those who were taken from us. They played this video, there was not a dry eye in that gym. Life throws us curve balls. This song shows us that with the love and support of family and friends, we can make it through anything.
I am truly blessed to have the friends and family that I have. I know that no matter what life throws at me, I am loved. So, I'd like to tank you all for being the people who love me and will help me through the hardest of times.

Take a Deep Breath

Sometimes you've just got to take a deep breath and one step forward at a time. I am so lost on what I want. Well, that's not fully accurate. I'd follow Tye to the ends of the world.
What in the world am I talking about? Well my husband, as most of you know, works away from home. He is gone for 3 weeks at a time, then home for one week. Now, we're looking at places to either rent or buy in or around the town he works in. If we are "local people" up there, his schedule would change. It would be 7 days on, 2 days off, then every three weeks he'd get a three day weekend. He would also be home ALMOST nightly, depending on if they need him in the field or if he's in the shop. The dilemma is we've grown accustom to this small town. I've made friendships, the school is amazing, and we found a church we actually enjoy going to. I know I can create this little world anywhere we go, but these people have made a home in my heart within the past two years. Do I go out with others? No. Do I see them anywhere other than the school or church? Not really. But I have such a great caring for them that I would do anything if they needed help. For instance, right now I'm watching a 4 year old boy whose Mom is having problems with her mother. To make a long story short, I'm watching him in the mornings for free. I have NO ill thoughts or regrets. He's a sweetheart and I know what it's like to have a tough time.
Back to my dilemma, I want to be where I can see my husband more often, where he could have a more active part in the girls lives. He is an incredible Daddy and an even better husband. He would do anything for me. We have such great communications that when we have problems, no matter what they are, we talk to each other. We've cried together, we laugh together, we feel each others thoughts and views. He's my best friend more now than he was when we were in High School together. The words "I Love You" are said not just daily but many, many times a day. Hugs and kisses are something that we both cherish. I may not want to leave my adopted family of a town, but if it means being with him more, and it would benefit my family more, we'd probably move up there. It's only two hours away from here *I don't have a running vehicle or I'd visit him more* so we'd be able to come down and visit, attend church and whatnot.
I think my biggest problem is all the help we've received from the school, church and other amazing people in this town. We moved here with nearly nothing. Tye was working a minimum wage job and we were just trying to keep our heads up. For the past two years, we've been slowly moving up, but will always remember how the school and church bought the girls gifts for Christmas, turkey/ham for the holidays, a shoulder to lean on and an ear to talk to. Heck, at the school last year, the business manager and the cheerleaders' coach made me a cake and bought me a birthday gift. I broke down to tears, these people have hearts of gold. My girls are adored at their school and give hugs to EVERYONE. I have been truly blessed during our time here. If we do move, it won't be anytime soon as we really want the girls to be able to finish the school year here.
I know, no matter what, I am loved. My family is adored. We will always have the relationships we've created here. I've changed a lot since we moved here. I've grown more. Not physically, of course, but emotionally, spiritually and, well, mentally. I have more faith in myself. I started school again. I'm achieving a 4.0 and doing my best. I find myself laughing over little things, remembering how laughter affects my heart. Ya know, it feels so good to laugh. I've grown closer to my husband and children. I am, finally, a good spouse, a good Mom and a good friend.

Life as we Know it

Sometimes I just don't want to care. I have had many friends... or acquaintances rather... turn their back on me. I always try to help out where I can, whether it be simply a message saying "I love you" to donating an old high chair to someone in need. We went to Canyon on Friday to give a gal who has a 2 year old and a 1 year old our old high chair seeing as we didn't have a need for it any more. Well the van was working all day long, not showing signs of any problems. Low and behold, when we dropped off the high chair, the van wouldn't start back up. We called a wonderful friend who was able to travel the 80 miles to help bring the van home. After we got home and got some sleep, we bought a new starter, thinking that was the problem. Replaced the starter to find, that's not what is wrong with it. Tye worked on the van the whole week he was home, yet the van still isn't working. Oh well, I'm out a vehicle for now. The thing that bums me out is I asked a "friend" if they could help me maybe at least try to pin down the full problem with the van, he said he's got too much going on and cannot help. Okay, that's fine. My biggest problem is I know they have the time to assist, I'm not asking them to FIX it for me, but to help me figure out what is truly wrong with this vehicle. UGH. Walk away, Shel.

My poor husband just worked a 34 hour day in the field. I miss him tons. I never thought of how hard it was to tell your children that Daddy's at work, but he loves you and misses you. I have to say this every morning and every night. Tye's a great Daddy and it shows with how much the girls ask about him. Danielle was mad at me last night because I told her Daddy was working late and we couldn't talk to him on Skype. Life sure is tough in this economy, but you have to do what you have to do.

Kylie and Danielle are running for Little Princess for their school. This is the first year they've had this competition in 10 years! We met the last girl to win, who is now a Junior in High school. She was in the 1st grade when she won. Saturday is the Cotton Festival as well as the day that the winner is announced for Little Princess. I hope the girls understand when I tell them that it doesn't matter who wins, they are beautiful and amazing in my eyes, as well as the rest of their family and friends' eyes. I will post pictures of them on their Little Princess Float. My girls are incredible. I love them with all my heart. Taylor is going to dress up too, can't leave her out even though she's too young to run for Little Princess.